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Why Do We Ignore 🎧 The Red Flags of The Narcissist?

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In todays email:

🎧 Ignoring the red flags

❓ Questions from Readers

📚 New on the Blog

Hello Thrivers,

Ever wondered why we keep ignoring those red flags the Narcissist is showing? Why do we do that when they "obviously" are showing us toxic sings easy to spot?

The truth is that it is not easy at all and you should stop blaming yourself for staying with your narc for too long.

You are someone who sees the good in people and that is a quality you should not loose. Never be afraid to love someone, although it might hurt you.

Today I want to show you the red flags of the narcissist and why it is not easy at all to spot them early.

Charisma and Charm

Often, we overlook the red flags of a narcissist due to their charm and charisma.

Their captivating presence intoxicates us, causing us to dismiss potential warning signs.

Their appealing aura pulls us in, making it difficult to spot or acknowledge their narcissistic traits.

Manipulation

Manipulation by a narcissist is often subtle and goes unnoticed. They might twist facts, guilt-trip us, or play the victim to get their way, making us believe they're right and we're wrong.

This crafty maneuvering can confuse us, and instead of recognizing it as manipulation, we might question our own judgments, missing the red flags altogether.

Idealization

In the early stages of a relationship, a narcissist's "love bombing" can blind us to their true nature.

They shower us with attention, praise, and affection, making us feel uniquely special.

This overwhelming whirlwind of emotions can mask their real intentions, causing us to overlook crucial red flags.

Confusion

Narcissists often create a state of confusion with unpredictable behavior.

One moment they are kind, and the next they are cold.

This inconsistency keeps us perpetually unsettled and uncertain, making it hard to identify and react to the red flags that signal their true nature.

Self Doubt

A narcissist can lead us to self-doubt via their constant criticism and manipulation.

Over time, their tactics can make us question our own perceptions and feelings, causing us to ignore the red flags that would usually alert us to issues.

They gaslight us into disbelieving our own intuition, making their behavior seem valid.

Fear of Loss

Fear of loss can overshadow recognizing red flags in a relationship with a narcissist.

The idea of losing the relationship, shared dreams, or companionship can be daunting enough to dismiss potential warning signs.

Our distress over potential loneliness or changing our life's course can silence the alarm bells, keeping us entangled.

Denial

Denial can be a powerful factor in overlooking the red flags of a narcissist.

It's challenging to admit that someone we care for is damaging our well-being.

We might downplay the extent of the problem, convincing ourselves that things aren't as bad as they feel, which can cause us to dismiss the clear warning signs.

Moving Forward

When I ask my clients when they first noticed they were being with a Narcissist, I often get the same answer. Something was off from the beginning.

If something feels wrong, it often is wrong. Don't let anyone undermine your feelings or experiences.

Stay strong and believe in yourself,

Alexander

❓ Questions From Readers ❓

Do you have a personal question you want to see answered in this email? Hit Reply and send me your question.

Could I be in a relationship with a narcissist without realizing it?

Absolutely, it is possible to be in a relationship with a narcissist without realizing it, especially in the early stages.

Like we discusssed, Narcissists can be incredibly charming and charismatic, often drawing you into a relationship before their destructive patterns of behavior become apparent.

If you're noticing feelings of confusion, self-doubt, or a constant need to cater to your partner's ego, it may be time to reflect on your relationship dynamics.

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Can a narcissist truly love someone or do they only love the control they have over them?

It is difficult to define what love means for a narcissist. Narcissistic individuals often crave control and validation more than emotional intimacy, which can interfere with their capacity for genuine love.

They might confuse love with the sense of power they derive from manipulating and controlling others.

We often say that Narcissists can love someone, but they lack empathy which makes a loving relationship very difficult.

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How can I protect myself against future relationships with narcissists?

This is not easy to answer. You cant really know if you are with a Narcissist after seeing them a few dates at least. But in general you can protect yourself by.

• Learning about Narcissism (by reading this newsletter;))
• Honor your feelings and intuition
• Establish and maintain boundaries to ensure your emotional well being.

📚 New On The Blog

​How do you know if a Narcissist is gaslighting you?​

​12 Gaslighting Tactics Narcissists use to control you​

​11 Signs YOU are Narcissistic Supply​

In strength and solidarity,
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Alexander Burgemeester

Psychologist and Founder of The Narcissistic Life​

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