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🫵 What if YOU are the Narc?

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In todays email:

🫵 Are You The Narc?

⚕️ Email Consultation

❓ Questions from Readers

📚 Read it on the Blog

Dear Reader,

Did you ever questioned yourself if you might be the narcissist after all?

What if they were right after all and you are the one to blame?

Today i want to discuss why you might feel that way, why it is impossible that you are the narcissist, and why it might be possible that you are the Narcissist...

The Reasons Why You Might Feel You Are The Narcissist

Take a deep breath, because the chances that you are the Narc is pretty slim. You have been accused many times to be lying, manipulating and the main cause of all the problems.

They have gaslighted you,

They have projected their negative traits on you,

They have blamed you for everything

They have accused you of being the Narcissist

Most people have a thing called empathy and accountability and when relationships fail they will start reflecting what they are to blame and examine their behavior.

This self reflective behavior can sometimes lead to self doubt about who the Narcissist was in your relationship.

So the sole fact that you are wondering this question is already a sign you are most likely not a Narcissist.

5 Reasons why you can't be the narcissist

Self-Reflection:

The mere fact that you are questioning your behavior demonstrates a level of self-awareness and willingness to examine your actions. Narcissists typically lack this introspective ability.

Empathy and Concern:

Narcissists generally struggle with empathy and genuine concern for others. Your genuine curiosity and desire to understand your impact on others suggest a capacity for empathy.

Willingness to Grow:

Narcissists often resist personal growth or change, while you are actively seeking personal growth by questioning yourself and searching for answers.

Receipt of Blame:

Narcissists tend to deflect blame, placing it solely on others. Your consideration of self-blame and concern for the possibility of being a narcissist indicates a willingness to take responsibility.

Openness to Feedback:

Narcissists typically reject or undermine feedback from others. Your willingness to explore different perspectives and seek understanding suggests an openness to feedback, an essential aspect of personal growth.

Does that already make you feel better?

But what are the chances you are the Narcissist?

I will continue after some self promotion

Email Consultation

I get many emails on a weekly basis with lots of personal questions I simply can not answer in this newsletter. For those who want my undivided attention I have an email consultation service.

You can order my email consultation by ordering one of the following packages:

Option A: You have 1 question and your background story is around 300 words----> $40

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For each service it applies that you get your money back when you are not satisfied or when I feel this falls out of my scope.

I will answer all questions together with my wife who is a clinical psychologist and much smarter than me ;)

5 Reasons why you could be the Narcissist

Self-Awareness:

You recognize that your behavior has hurt others, and it makes you question if you might have narcissistic traits.

Recognizing Patterns:

You notice consistent patterns of selfish or manipulative behavior in your relationships. The negative feedback you receive makes you uncertain about your own conduct.

Lack of Empathy:

You find it challenging to truly understand and consider the feelings and perspectives of others, which may suggest the presence of narcissistic tendencies.

Need for Control:

You feel a strong desire for control and may dismiss the opinions of others, which could be indicators of narcissistic behavior.

Seeking Validation:

You constantly seek excessive admiration or validation from others to feel good about yourself, which may hinder the development of genuine connections.

These 5 points are probably a perfect description of your (ex) Narcissist and not of your behavior at all.

Narcissists blame you because of their own insecurity, it is impossible for them to accept the blame. And if they are not to blame, their logical explanation is that you are the blame.

Don't fall for this and remember:

The fact that you are wondering if you are the narc is enough to confirm that you are not.

❓ Questions From Readers ❓

Do you have a personal question you want to see answered in this email? Hit Reply and send me your question.

What if I am dating a Narcissist, can they change for the right person?

Change in narcissistic behavior for the sake of a specific person is rare and unpredictable.

Prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries. If patterns of manipulation and emotional harm persist, reassess the health of the relationship.

Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and respectful partnership.

How can I differentiate between occasional narcissistic traits and actually being a narcissist?

Differentiating between occasional narcissistic traits and actually being a narcissist can be challenging.

Reflect on the consistency and severity of the traits, how they impact your relationships, and whether there is a lack of empathy.

Seeking professional evaluation can provide deeper insight and clarity tailored to your individual situation.

📚 Read it On The Blog

​Can a Narcissist Change?​

​How Does Dating a Narcissist Change You?​

​11 Signs YOU are the Narcissistic Supply​

In strength and solidarity,
​

Alexander Burgemeester

Psychologist and Founder of The Narcissistic Life​

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