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⚒️ Why Do Narcissists Ruin Holidays?

In todays email:

⚒️ Narcissists Ruin Holidays

❓ Questions from Readers

📚 New on the Blog

Dear Reader

We all love holidays, but holidays with Narcissists is a totally different experience. Most of you probably have experience with this

Instead of time to relax or enjoy, the Narcissist brings more drama and/or fighting.

Why can't they just enjoy holidays or be happy for you on special days like birthdays or Mothers day?

Narcissists need to shine, and when you steel their limelight its not them who is shining, but YOU. And that is something they can't accept.

Let's explore a few reasons why they hate holidays, be it a birthday or a luxurious vacation.

Need for Control

Narcissists thrive on control, and holidays can be a prime opportunity for them to assert dominance.

They may feel threatened by the focus of attention shifting away from them or feel compelled to manipulate events to conform to their desires.

Shattering Expectations

Holidays often evoke expectations of harmony and togetherness. Narcissists, with their inability to foster healthy connections, struggle with the disillusionment that genuine connection requires.

They may attempt to shatter these expectations, disrupting the joy of the season.

Yearning for Drama:

Narcissists feed off drama. They may deliberately create chaos during holidays as a means to draw attention and exert their power.

They exploit the emotional intensity of the occasion to elevate their own sense of self-importance.

Jealousy and Insecurity:

Narcissists harbor intense feelings of envy and often struggle with sharing the limelight.

When others experience joy and recognition during the holidays, narcissists may react with envy, lashing out or sabotaging their happiness to re-establish their superiority.

Inability to Connect:

Genuine emotional intimacy eludes narcissists. The warmth and closeness that characterize holiday gatherings may feel uncomfortable and foreign to them.

This can lead them to disrupt or undermine connections and moments of true love and authenticity.

Healing and Dealing

Remember, you are not alone in these challenging experiences.

Healing can begin by setting firm boundaries, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with compassionate support.

By understanding why narcissists behave the way they do during the holidays, you can better prepare yourself and minimize their negative influence on your well-being.

It's not you, It's THEM

Allow yourself to create new traditions and connections with those who truly value and appreciate you.

Together, we can rise above the toxic grasp of narcissistic abuse and embrace the peace and happiness we deserve.

❓ Questions From Readers

As a grandparent, how can you safeguard yourself when you suspect your daughter-in-law, who exhibits narcissistic tendencies, is lying to your son and grandchildren?

As a grandparent these situations are horrible! Not only do you suspect your DIL has control if you see your grandchildren, but they also control your connection with your child.

Sadly there is no easy solution to this question. You want to avoid getting into fights with your DIL because that will only make the situation worse.

At the same time it is important to set clear boundaries and maintain open communication with your son and grandchildren.

a While ago I wrote an article about this topic that might help you a bit with this situation.

How do You Know Your Narc is a Narc and not a regular abusive person?

It can be hard to tell if someone is just mean or if they're a narcissist.

Narcissists have specific behaviours that help differentiate them. First, they often use 'love bombing'.

This means they shower you with so much praise you'd think you’re perfect.

Second, they suddenly switch from praising you to treating you like you're worthless. We call this 'splitting'. It can happen even if you say something minor that they don't like.

Narcissists play mind games, too. They make you trust and depend on them with kind words and attention.

But they use this trust to control and belittle you. It's a cycle that can really hurt.

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I try to answer questions every week, if you want to see your question answered, hit reply and send me an email.

📚 New On The Blog

​How To get a Narcissist To Admit They Cheated?​

​How Do You Force a Narcissist To Respect You?​

​How Long Does it Take To recover From Narcissistic Abuse?​

That's it for this week, see you all next week.

Alexander Burgemeester

Psychologist and Founder of The Narcissistic Life​

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