🌱 Size Does Matter

You Need To Be Small 🌱 For The Narcissist To Shine 🌟

In todays email:

🌱 Why size matters

❓ Questions from Readers

📚 New on the Blog

Hell Thrivers,

Today I want to talk about the size of your Narcissist. And with size I mean their Ego. Narcissists need to compensate their inner deep insecurity and inadequacy with their big ego. It is their way to tell the world they are OK, or even better than OK.

But the size of their ego is directly related with the size of your ego. If you feel small and insecure, they will feel superior over you and this will feed their grandiosity.

It is true that Narcissists pick their "victims" in a way they know they will have the upper hand in the relationship, no matter if it is love or friends. They won't be with someone who is more successful than they are, unless they can break them.

But that is not the only way they will try to reach superiority over you. They have some dark and filthy ways to break your ego and make sure you will not walk away.

Today I want to give you a few examples of how far Narcissists will go to keep you attached to them.

They will get pregnant

They may try to get pregnant on purpose without you knowing about it. Having a baby with you is the ultimate way to have control over you and your family. They see a baby firstly as a way to have power over you.

They will tell you you are useless

I often hear from my clients how their parents would tell them how much of a loser they are and how they are not succeeding in life. You should be happy with a parent like them who is there for you. But fact is they are afraid you will walk away and start a life of your own. Remember, You are NOT useless.

They will encourage you to gain weight

This sounds pretty extreme, but yeah, this is what Narcissists do. In their mind, if you gain weight, you will be less likely to leave them. Once you gained weight, they will use this to their advantage and abuse you over it.

They want to know all your secrets

You had a bad night and the Narcissist is there for you to listen to you while you talk about your deepest secrets and insecurities. It feels good if someone is listening right?

Wrong! Narcissists pretend to be nice to you to know your weakness. Once they know, they will use and abuse this knowledge to their advantage. This is a very big red flag if you are noticing this early when you are dating someone.

You are ugly and nobody wants you

These are the words of a Narc parent downtalking to their child. You might have big dreams of dating and work, but they will tell you that will never happen. Nobody likes you and you should just accept that and stay with them

Remember,

Narcissists choose you because you are someone who is capable of love. They choose you because you have things they don't. They Choose you because deep inside, they want to be like you.

The only way for them to deal with this is to break you and make you feel miserable. Don't let them do that. Run, Fly Away, Find someone who deserves your love.

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❓ Questions From Readers ❓

Do you have a personal question you want to see answered in this email? Hit Reply and send me your question.

What if you are married to a narcissist and cant leave because no one believes you?

I hear this question a lot. There must be a way to live normally with a Narcissist when you are married to them right?

There are some ways to improve your marriage when you are married to a Narcissist. But this would mean you have to adapt to their manipulative behavior. It would mean you will try to change something very bad into something a little less bad.

I highly recommend you to talk to a therapist. This will help you straighten your thoughts and they will give you the advice you seek.

Leaving a narcissist is never easy, but it is often the start of a better life ahead.

He was a great guy, and then he suddenly left me

You met a guy and the first months were perfect. He took good care for you, the sex was great, everything felt good. And then suddenly they packed their bags and left, what the hell happened?

This is a very typical example of Love Bombing. This is the type of behavior that most people like and the reason why they fall in love with them. But love bombing is a facade, it is fake, it is not who they really are.

The reason why they left is probably because they found someone else, they found a new source of Narcissistic Supply. You can compare them to vampires.

They need a fix and when the fix is empty, they will find it somewhere else. Or even multiple fixes at the same time to make sure they will never miss out.

Don't doubt about yourself and although it might not feel like it, be happy he left and is ruining someone else her live.

Should I give the Narc another chance?

You are dating someone you have suspicions for that they are a Narcissist. Now you had your first fight because they lied or they even cheated on you.

But being with them is so much fun, should you give them another chance?

I can be very clear and concise with this, NO! Narcissists don't change their behavior. Forgiving them is the same like giving them a free ticket to do the same behavior again and again and again.

Psychologist and Founder of The Narcissistic Life

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🌱 Size Does Matter